LOS ANGELES – We already have something of a lying situation, even before Joan Vassos steps up to star in the TV history-making “The Golden Bachelorette” Wednesday (8 EDT/PDT).
However, the Vassos clan collectively (and unfairly) demanded the grandmother of three could not kiss anyone on TV, and they vetoed Fantasy Suites nights, a franchise staple.
“You have to kiss some frogs to find your prince,” Vassos tells USA TODAY. “So I promised them I wouldn't, knowing that I was lying the whole time. They don't know, and I'm not telling them.”
That's a definite pass for Vassos, who was a brief ray of sunshine among 22 candidates on “Golden Bachelor.” Vassos, whose husband of 32 years died in 2021, bonded with widower Gerry Turner over the loss of their respective longtime spouses during an emotional but romantic Episode 3 dinner. Then she tearfully withdrew (or “self-eliminated”) from the reality show the next morning due to a family emergency.
While painful at the time, Vassos believes that Bachelor Nation applauded her move to leave the Bachelor mansion to take care of her daughter, who was recovering from a difficult childbirth.
“You have a lot of responsibilities at this age – my kids, my mother is 92, my mother-in-law,” says Vassos. “Self-eliminating from the show really resonated with people.”
Vassos believes that her sad early TV departure was a big reason she received a surprising call from three show producers asking her to take a second shot at TV love in “Golden Bachelorette.”
“There were people that made it far longer in the show that maybe were more deserving,” says Vassos. “But that was a good call to get.”
There were downsides to agreeing to the high-profile TV dating experience. As fans know, the wheels fell off the initially exuberant “Golden Bachelor” season, exacerbated by the Nov. 29 Hollywood Reporter exposé of Turner's “not-so-golden past,” which claimed the Indiana-based widower had misled viewers about his romantic life and professional qualifications. Turner, who declined to discuss the report, married Theresa Nist in a Jan. 4 wedding, which aired live from Palm Spring, California. However, the couple announced their divorce during an April 12 “GMA” interview just three months later. The experience left the “Golden” brand tarnished.
Vassos remains respectful to Turner and the couple's “journey,” as such romances are unfailingly known.
“We all saw that it didn't work out,” she says. “And I applaud them for saying it's over now, and that we're young enough to still find love in our life.”
Still, Vassos admits the disappointing reality show aftermath raises the stakes for her “Golden Bachelorette” season.
“I feel like it put a little pressure on me; I'm not going to lie,” says Vassos. “I wish I could say that I thought, ‘No, I'm going on my own journey.’ But there was a part of me that thought, ‘I need to be the redemption.’ And that if this season doesn't go as everybody wants, this may be the end of the ‘Golden’ franchise.”
She relaxed upon meeting the new crop of 24 eclectic men, which includes Mark Anderson, the hunky father of “Bachelor” alum Kelsey Anderson.
“Yeah, I felt pressure, but once I met the guys, I was like, ‘This is all gonna be fine,’” says Vassos, who is keeping her already taped ending top secret. “I'm dying to tell you because the journey was so incredible. People will love the show, and love the men.”
One clue she will volunteer: Vassos, who professes to be “on the serious side,” needs an outgoing guy, like her late husband John Vassos. He lit up every room before dying after a two-year battle with pancreatic cancer.
Vassos admits she struggled with guilt about appearing on a TV dating show after losing her beloved husband. “I was a little worried that I won't be honoring his memory,” she says. “And I know that people will be like, ‘Well, if you were so in love, how in the world could you go on that show?’”
But she says she found the experience emotionally healing. She talked about the loss with other widows in the “Golden Bachelor” house which was “the group therapy I needed. And when I got out I was good afterward.”
She's moved past the notion that “Golden Bachelorette” would in any way disrespect John's memory. After all, he was the major reality show fan of the two, watching “Real Housewives” and “The Bachelor.”
“When I told a friend I felt guilty, she was like, ‘Oh, that's so stupid!’” says Vassos. “She said that John is going to be looking down from heaven saying, ‘That's my wife down there.’ He will be celebrating this and loving it, I still do believe. I feel like he's with me, honestly.”
The first season of The Golden Bachelorette 2024 is right around the corner, with Joan Vassos getting a second chance at love on reality TV dating after The Golden Bachelor. With 24 single men vying for Vassos' love, fans are excited to see what's next on the expansion of Bachelor Nation.
Going back to The Golden Bachelor, Vassos decided to leave the show after there was a medical concern with her daughter. But now the Golden Bachelorette is ready to step into the spotlight.
In the U.S. The Golden Bachelorette premieres on Wednesday, Sept. 18 at 8:00 p.m. ET/5:00 p.m. ET, and the episode is two-hours long.
The Golden Bachelorette will air on ABC in the U.S. In Canada, the series will be on Citytv.
While the Canadian broadcaster won't begin airing The Golden Bachelorette until Sept. 23, Canadians should check the guide from their cable provider to find the ABC channel, in order to watch the show on its U.S. premiere date.
In the U.S., The Golden Bachelorette will be available on Hulu the day after each episode airs.
In Canada, the show can be streamed on Citytv+, with can be added on to a Prime Video membership.
Stream The Golden Bachelorette by adding CityTV+ to a Prime Video membership. Get 7 days free, then pay $4.99/month.
Joan Vassos is opening up about how her journey on “The Golden Bachelorette” helped aid her grief over the loss of her husband.
“My husband passed away during COVID, and I really didn’t embrace the whole mourning thing,” the 61-year-old told People Tuesday. “I was in charge of being strong. I just buckled down and ignored it.”
Vassos’s husband of 32 years, John, died in January 2021 from pancreatic cancer. At the time of his death, the reality star looked into group therapy but was unable to find any due to the pandemic.
Vassos — who appeared on Gerry Turner’s season of “The Golden Bachelor” and exited during Week 3 — shared that it was time to acknowledge the pain once she started making connections on “The Golden Bachelorette.”
She said of her grief: “I had to face it.”
“It was in my face that I was feeling really guilty, honestly, about having feelings for somebody else,” Vassos confessed. “I almost felt like I was cheating on John, which is crazy because he’s passed away.”
The mom of four also recounted that before John died, he told her: “I want you to find somebody. You are the greatest wife in the world. I don’t want you to be alone. I want you to find somebody.”
Vassos felt “uneasy” about moving on more than three years later. However, she worked through those feelings with a team of psychiatrists from “The Golden Bachelorette.”
“They said, ‘You don’t have to let go of John. Picture it like this: you have two balloons, one in each hand, and John is in a balloon in this hand, and your potential person that you’re going to fall in love with in this hand. You don’t have to let go of him from this hand to pick this one up and have a life with this one,’” recounted the private school administrator. “And it was such a good lesson.”
Following that discussion, Vassos felt free to discuss her late husband with her suitors.
“You’re trying to establish a relationship with somebody else, you don’t want to talk about your deceased spouse, but keeping his memory alive didn’t seem like I was being weird,” the Maryland resident told the outlet. “I felt comfortable finally doing it. I talked about how funny he was and stuff like that, and I feel like the guys really appreciated that.”
And talking about John also gave the men permission to bring up their late spouses.
“It opened up the door to talk about people that were really important parts of your lives,” Vassos continued. “You can’t ignore it. It’s going to be there. Talking about it and letting it out makes it more almost joyful.”
Which was a monumental moment in her grief journey.
“I went from not being able to think about him or even having a picture in my house that I could see every day — I had pictures in the guest room and other parts of the house I don’t see every day — to the point where now I’m feeling so much better about it,” explained Vassos.
Nowadays, the ABC lead continues to keep John’s memory alive.
“Putting his name on a bench or planting a tree, none of these things are good enough,” Vassos said. “So I said, you know what I think he would like the most? Is that you don’t forget him. Tell me stories. It doesn’t hurt me anymore; it makes me happy.”
Ultimately, being the ABC lead “cured me,” Vassos stated. “This journey made me open to love. And I figured it out partway through the journey that I really wasn’t there when I came, but I got there.”
In January, Vassos took a moment to remember her late husband on the anniversary of his death.
“It’s been three years…,” she wrote on Instagram beneath a family photo. “Some days it seems like it just happened and I can’t catch my breath, still feeling the shock of it. Other days it feels like he’s been gone a lifetime, those days are worse because I’m afraid the memories are fading. I think that’s what scares me the most.”
She concluded in part, “He was the husband that always made me feel safe and cherished. He was the parent that was always the fun one because that’s all he knew how to do…lucky kids because fun in his book was generally epic. Please keep telling the stories, don’t worry, they don’t make me sad…let’s be honest, most of them are funny! As the Greeks say, ‘May his memory be eternal.’”
Viewers can watch Vassos’ journey unfold when “The Golden Bachelorette” premieres Wednesday, Sept. 18, at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.
