IT’S 5pm on a Saturday and I haven’t seen my children all day. My daughter Mia, 14, is locked away in her bedroom, eyes glued to her tablet as she watches the umpteenth episode of Stranger Things on Netflix. Meanwhile Frankie, seven, cheers loudly from the depths of his homemade fort of pillows in the living room, having won his 50th Mario Kart race in a row. During the school holidays, I let my kids sit on screens for ten hours a day, almost twice the average for UK children. Call me a bad mum, but it’s the best decision I ever made.
According to research by Specsavers, British kids aged five to 16 spend a total of 6.3 hours on screens daily. I’m not shocked by that. I have always been relaxed about my kids’ screen time and, like so many other mums with the same approach, I’m trolled for it. I recently confessed my youngsters’ screen time habits on TikTok and was bombarded by so-called “perfect” mums who claim it is a “sad life”. One asked why I had children if I couldn’t devote every minute of my life to them.
They can troll me all they want. I refuse to feel guilty. My friends have never judged me because, let’s face it, they do it, too. During the summer holidays, routine goes out the window and rules are non-existent. My kids do not need some Army-style regime when they are off school. It is just not fair. The children sit in their pyjamas, flitting between TV shows, YouTube clips and Nintendo games, barely surfacing from their bedrooms for food. I am quite happy for them to guzzle fizzy drinks and fill up on junk food. It is the holidays and they are so healthy during term time, so why not have a treat?
If they want to be on their screens all day, I won’t stop them. They deserve their screen time, and I deserve a break. We introduced Frankie to screens aged three. He plays online games like Roblox with his friends and watches crazy YouTube videos, from parkour to surfing and scooter tricks. He switches the TV on at 6am each morning when my husband Simon, 38, a tradesman, leaves for work. And he switches it off again half an hour before bed. I know what you are thinking and no, I don’t let the kids watch anything violent or adult content. They have parental controls on their devices, so I am assured the content they are viewing is safe for their age. Mia prefers to watch Netflix all day and chat online with her pals. They have the option to go outside, do crafts or sport, but being a kid is not all about playing in the park any more. Times change and trolls need to catch up.
Don’t get me wrong, we spend days at theme parks, have picnics and go to the local zoo. But we are not made of money. Six weeks is a long time for working parents who don’t have the luxury of nannies or spare cash for kids’ clubs. According to a survey by EE, by mid-August almost half of parents have run out of things to do with the family, and more than 60 per cent hide from their children to get a few minutes’ peace and quiet. Mums are lying if they say they don’t want a day off. Imagine just a few hours without a bored kid screaming in your ear. My two can be so engrossed in their screens, they won’t talk or even react to me all day. It’s bliss.
And before you accuse me of being a lazy parent, I am not dumping them in front of a TV screen so I can lie in bed watching Bridgerton. I work from home and, when the kids are on their screens, I become Supermum. As well as doing multiple loads of washing, I prepare dinner, clean the whole house and do a full day’s work — without interruption. Online trolls claim I am an awful mum and use screens as babysitters. I am not denying it. They really are a life-saver and, seeing as summer holiday childcare now costs an average £1,000 per child, I’ve saved a fortune, too.
If you are a 'screen time mum', do not feel pressured to bow to other people’s rules. I guarantee every adult who judges me spent their childhood playing a Sega Mega Drive for hours on end. Did it do us any harm? Absolutely not. Back then, no one was judged because there was no social media to enable others to shame you. But do it now and you are a “bad mother” or it’s “parenting done wrong”, as so many rudely state on my TikTok videos. Even a doctor had the gall to claim I was damaging my children’s brains. Apparently I’m making them overstimulated and it is ruining their sleep. My kids sleep just fine, thank you. I am sure being on screens 24/7 might harm our kids’ brains, but not a couple of days a week. A few “chill days” are not going to hurt them.
I have friends who say screen time makes their kids’ behaviour worse. I must be lucky. My kids never kick off when it is time to turn their screens off. I ask both Mia and Frankie to switch off devices half an hour before bed and they do as they’re told, happily winding down with a book before lights out. I never catch the glare of an iPad screen after hours. If it gets to that point, I will know it is time to take action. But while they are well-behaved, why take their screens away? I feel sorry for kids who are not allowed screen time. These days playground talk is all about the latest TikTok trend. If you have denied your child screen time, they could feel lonely, get bullied and even become resentful towards you. So you’re the one being selfish.
If your child is not interested in screens, fine. But if you are a “screen time mum”, do not feel pressured to bow to other people’s rules. If your child is happy, loved and cared for, that is enough.
Kids Spend 10 Hours a Day on Screens: Mom's Rationale
This mom’s relaxed approach to screen time sparked a heated debate. Jay Whitfield, a social media creator, said she doesn’t limit how much her son, 7, or her daughter, 14, are in front of screens, but does make sure they switch off half an hour before bed. Her kids spent about 10 hours on screens one day after several days out as a family. She argues that kids need chill days and that screen time can be a good way for them to relax and de-stress. She also says that her kids use screens at school and that she finds them helpful for learning.
Parents are Shaming Screen Time Moms
Jay Whitfield says she’s been trolled for her approach to screen time, with some people even calling her a “bad mum.” She says that people often assume that screen time is a babysitter, but she argues that it’s not always the case. She says that she and her husband make sure their kids get plenty of exercise and fresh air, but that they also have days where they relax at home.
The Benefits of Screen Time for Kids
Jay Whitfield argues that screen time can have some benefits for kids. She says that her kids use screens at school and that she finds them helpful for learning. She also says that screen time can be a good way for kids to relax and de-stress.
The Challenges of Raising Kids in a Digital Age
Jay Whitfield’s approach to screen time highlights the challenges that parents face in raising kids in a digital age. Today’s kids are growing up in a world where technology is ubiquitous. It’s more important than ever for parents to find a balance between screen time and other activities. It's also important to remember that every child is different and what works for one family may not work for another.
The Importance of Finding a Balance
Jay Whitfield acknowledges that screen time can have negative side effects. She says that she’s cautious about her children developing a bad habit with technology. She also says that she and her husband make sure their kids get plenty of exercise and fresh air. Ultimately, the key is to find a balance that works for your family.
A Mother's Perspective on Screen Time
Jay Whitfield’s approach to screen time is certainly not for everyone. But it’s important to remember that every family is different and what works for one family may not work for another. It’s also important to be respectful of other parents' choices, even if you don’t agree with them. What do you think about this mom’s approach to screen time? Let us know in the comments below.