The Block is back with a bang, with the first episode of The Block Island premiering last night as we were properly introduced to the teams set to take over our lives for the foreseeable future. While the renovation show has slowly become more dramatic over the years, this season already hints at an explosive level of drama, with some couples looking like they'll be on the brink of separation by the time the show finishes.
Before we get to all of that juicy drama however, we start a little smaller, of course. Last night, Block fans (and contestants) were captivated by Far North Queensland couple Brad and Kylie, who look a little more Melbourne hipster than coastal Cairns.
With the show kicking off with Guest Bathroom Week, Kylie took to the planning stage with enthusiasm, and like a woman after my own heart, she declared she basically wanted everything to be black. It's giving me in the '00s, growing up in a rural town, and begging my parents to let me paint my whole bedroom black so it accentuated my My Chemical Romance poster more.
They said no.
But as it turns out on The Block you don't have to ask your parents for permission, so Kylie got to planning her emo/gothic guest bathroom which she described as "predominantly black" — meaning black toilet, black bath, black sink, black vanity, black soul, black heart etc.
Describing herself as "quirky and weird" she said she thinks there's a demographic for it (yes, emos like me). "I literally can't be the only person who is like this," she said.
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Famous last words, Kylie. Ha, that's a My Chem reference if you're paying attention.
Many people called out Kylie for making the bathroom a little too much about her and her interests, vs what a prospective buyer might want.
"The plan is to make the house attractive to what people with a lot of money might want," one person tweeted. "I don’t think a black toilet is very lovable… Maybe you can buy a black toilet with all the money that you win?"
"Just because you like wearing black does not mean you decorate the house you are meant to sell for a profit in all black!" another stressed person said.
QLD team going to learn an expensive lesson! This is not your house just because your dream is an all bathroom in your all black house doesn’t mean that’s what buyers want! This is not your house! #TheBlock
— Casey the Sydney-Sider (@casey_vand) August 12, 2024
"Stayed in a hotel room in Florence that had a bathroom that was all black. It was dingy, creepy, gave me anxiety, just gross," someone else tweeted. "Is Phillip Island the right place for an all-black bathroom?" someone else questioned, which, tbh, fair.
"I’m assuming green hair girl didn’t watch the season where Ronnie and Georgia painted their house black and then had to repaint it because no one liked it?" someone else pointed out.
Unfortunately for Kylie, her vision was nearly ruined on day one with her desired bath not having an overflow (which her annoying husband Brad said they needed), before she was told there was no black toilet available.
Alexa, play 'Last Resort' by Papa Roach.
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Day two however provided more luck as she found the elusive items she was after, but Brad had to make some changes to their floor plan to fit it all in which Kylie wasn't happy about.
"When I have a vision, I have a vision," she said, before the camera panned to her telling Brad she didn't like the changes as he tried to reason with her that the bath just... didn't fit their first floorplan.
Eventually, Kylie, in a mood about as black as her future bathroom, told Brad to "delete the bath" like it was a game of The Sims. "Just do it, I'm bowing out," she said.
I honestly cannot wait to see what this couple does next.
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