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Goat Simulator Remastered: A Re-Goat-ing of a Silly Classic?

8 November, 2024 - 8:12AM
Goat Simulator Remastered: A Re-Goat-ing of a Silly Classic?
Credit: ign.com

Get ready to relive the madness that is Goat Simulator with a revamped remaster landing on PC and consoles this week that includes every piece of DLC and a map from the mobile version. Goat Simulator first launched 10 years ago on April Fools' Day – which was incredibly fitting given the weird and wacky gameplay that sees players step into the hooves of a deranged goat rampaging through a town with the aim being to cause as much damage as possible. The physics of its sandbox world are just as demented, making for a fun and frenzied gameplay experience that'll see hapless humans flying around in the wake of your destructive path. It's a riot.

And now, a revamped version is poised to run amok on PC, PS5, and Xbox Series X|S with Goat Simulator: Remastered. As you'd expect, the remaster has updated graphics which include improvements to lighting, foliage, animations, textures, VF and more, with some assets replaced entirely. This time around there's a new Mutator Menu so you can create the grotesque goat of your nightmares even easier than before.

Of course, the best part of Goat Simulator: Remastered is that it includes all of the DLCs released for the original game, as well as a map from the mobile version, which you can find in a new menu in-game. That includes Goat City Bay, Goat MMO, Goat Z, PAYDAY, Waste Of Space, and Buck to School (mobile map).

The developer describes the remaster as "a completely stupid game" adding that it "has been a completely stupid game since we first invented goat simulation over 10 years ago. We’ve said it before, but you should absolutely be spending your money on something else, like a neat hat, a pile of bricks, or maybe pool your money together with your friends and buy a real goat."

This is significantly less smelly than a real goat and won't defecate all over your house or eat all of your belongings, so I have to disagree with Coffee Stain Studios on that front. Here's the Goat Simulator: Remastered release time for when it launches this Thursday, November 7.

The Goat Simulator: Remastered release time is set for 4pm GMT / 11am EST / 8am PDT on Thursday, November 7. While Coffee Stain hasn't shared a release time, the PlayStation store page for the game is displaying this time, so it's all we've got to go on for now.

Neither the Steam nor Xbox storefront has a Goat Simulator: Remastered release time listed either, so unless we get any updates, the PS Store release time is what we're going with.

A few weeks ago, my nine-year-old came into the living room, shoved the iPad in my face, and said, “Watch this.” It was a video of a chicken nugget with a human face singing a garbled rendition of Cotton Eye Joe.

At the tender age of 37, there are some things I will never fully understand the appeal of—Quentin Tarantino’s sole interest, fishing, Garten of Banban, why kids take photos of half their face these days. I’m either too normal, young, or old. 

Some things just aren’t meant for you, and that’s fine. 

Goat Simulator is one of those things. 

I kind of understand the appeal of Goat Simulator as a kid-friendly GTA. You run around and cause havoc, ruining NPCs’ lives with headbutts and tongue licks, ragdolling around, and making things go boom. But still, it’s not for me. 

Ahead of its time in many ways, Goat Simulator is a game for the Skibidi Toilet generation. 

So when Goat Simulator Remastered landed in my email inbox this week, there was only one person for the job, and he was sitting next to me laughing at a 3D model of a rotating fish. 

“Do you want to review Goat Sim Remastered?” I asked him. 

“Really?”

“Yeah.” 

“Yeah, Goat Simulator is goated.” 

It’s going to be a long week. 

Here are some things my child, whose brain has been ruined by YouTube, enjoyed about the remaster. 

There’s a section of the first map where you can come across a group of revelers dancing near Deadmau5, the Canadian music producer and DJ. Both my kids referred to this song as “Wakwerik” because it goes “wakwerik, wakwerik, wakwerik” over and over again. Wakwerik is dead now. 

“The Deadmau5 music is different but it’s still a bop,” he tells me before licking a guy on the backside and dragging him off a roof. 

“In the party zone, there’s a toaster and if you headbutt it, it spits out toast and the toast tries to run away. Chase it down, lick it, and put it back in the toaster and you get the I Am Bread mutator. It’s funny because you’re the bread and you roll instead of walking.” 

Goat Simulator Remastered comes with a range of new goats, mutators, and all the DLC. “Waste of Space is the best because you get to go into space,” my kid says. As for the best mutator: “I Am Baguette is the best new mutator because it’s got French stuff on and it’s really funny. It’s got a French hat and mustache since baguettes are from France.” 

We’re all learning about culture here. 

Read more: Goat Simulator: Remastered preview – buggier than ever in the best possible way

So what’s the remaster all about? Updated graphics, of course, which my brain-poisoned son says is a highlight. “The graphics are amazing,” he says. “Pilgor looks more detailed, but her old model is still nostalgic. I like Goat City Bay because the new sunset looks really nice.

“I accidentally hit a gas canister and it sent me flying.” 

So, what score would he give it? 

10/10 because it’s a good game. 

Thanks. 

Goat Simulator: Remastered is a convenient collection of the original game and its many creative DLC packs, but the remaster misses the mark to be considered the greatest of all time. After becoming an indie hit among the online community, the silly sandbox where players can cause chaos as an innocent goat has grown into a gaming franchise filled with comedic, stress-free shenanigans. While the remaster brings chaos for one to four players, issues (some of which include performance problems) do not help the game become its best version.

The latest franchise installment included a chaotic carnival of goat-fueled mayhem in Goat Simulator 3's Multiverse of Nonsense DLC, bringing the series to new heights of absurdity. It and GS3 felt like a proper evolution of everything the first game built upon, including its large open world and the plethora of pop culture and gaming references. While Goat Simulator: Remastered provides an easy way to enjoy the original game and its six DLCs, it doesn't add much or update the beloved game enough to be considered a satisfying rerelease.

Even though the original game began with the idea of an immortal goat causing mischief in a small town, Goat Simulator's success helped it grow into something much more. Each DLC introduced a new map filled with activities, quests, costumes, and special abilities for players to discover, lick, and headbutt, each of which is included in Goat Simulator: Remastered. Each can be selected from a very convenient menu that lets you dive horns-first into one of seven locations, some much more distinct than others.

When Goat Simulator 3 was announced as the sequel to 2014's Goat Simulator, many were left wondering whether a Goat Simulator 2 existed.

Thanks to Goat Simulator: Remastered's dedication to making things more accessible for players, you can start any of the original game's DLCs from the main menu and progress each at your own pace. This means that the wackiest sort of zombie apocalypse started by a goat in the GOATZ campaign, the class-based fantasy Goat MMO Simulator, the hilarious zoo animal heist missions of Goat Simulator PAYDAY, and others can be accessed without having to complete the others. Each feels distinct, but the remaster does little to bridge them together besides adding a bus stop and dark tunnel to connect them.

While each DLC has its own gags and themes, players will have different goals depending on which they play. A personal favorite of mine is the sci-fi-themed Waste of Space level, which puts the goat in a vast space colony that's dependent on the player's ability to collect money to unlock new sections. References to Mass Effect, the crowdfunding money pit known as Star Citizen, and other beloved futuristic games can be discovered. It's only one example of the considerable variation Goat Simulator: Remastered's gameplay offers.

Anyone who has played any of the original Goat Simulator content knows that each DLC release lacks much of a plot, which is okay since each is designated to provide its own type of sandbox fun for players to fool around and not take its content too seriously. While having everything in the game released in one place is a welcome achievement, some improvements could have made Goat Simulator: Remastered a better product than what has been released so far.

With seven different areas, each filled with secrets and gameplay mechanics to uncover, Goat Simulator: Remastered easily contains more than twenty hours of fun and even more with friends thanks to multiplayer minigames hidden around the maps. Still, several modes like the GOATZ encourage multiple playthroughs with alternating challenges and increasingly difficult tasks to navigate while each day the player's zombie goat can survive in a crumbling city. The zombie DLC might be the most challenging because it's the only area that gives players a health bar, but it's not the only area that suffers from distracting bugs.

Each area in Goat Simulator: Remastered is filled with content that ranges in humor and player engagement, but they are all also plagued by inconsistent clipping and physics. Tasks that require precise item placement or platforming threaten to shoot the player's goat into the stratosphere or under the stage into the game world's deep abyss. While those moments can spark a good laugh, other times, they can be frustrating when trying to complete tasks or earn a high score.

While bugs can be bothersome, it's also unfortunate that GSR didn't adapt GS3's controls instead of keeping the tank-style movement of the original. The clunky movement causes accidental havoc since many of the game's objects and structures explode into pieces with the slightest touch, which may be intentional fuel for chaos, frequently resulting in unintentional destruction. What the remaster does add to Goat Simulator is the ability to equip and unequip unlockable mutators that can drastically change the goat's appearance and skills. Those features that helped the game's humor become so well-known are now easier to access than ever.

Several video game remasters over the years have helped set low and high bars for rereleases of beloved classics. While lackluster remasters like the Metal Gear Solid Master Collection came packaged with barely any improvements from previous releases, others like Sonic X Shadow Generations released a polished product with anticipated new content, and Goat Simulator: Remastered falls in between.

While it's nice to have everything the first game released in a new and better-looking package, it would have been better if it updated its controls to match its smoother latest installment, or added content long-term fans haven't seen before.

Publisher Coffee Stain Studios has been on a roll with releases like Goat Simulator 3, Deep Rock Galactic, and Valheim. However, the small amount of improvements and repackaging of the first Goat Simulator feels lacking compared to other rereleases that have exceeded expectations. Still, Goat Simulator: Remastered is a good way to experience the game that helped gaming's silliest goat become infamous with humor that continues to ring relevant ten years after its original release.

Reviewed On Pc

Screen Rant was provided a Steam code for Goat Simulator: Remastered for the purpose of this review.

Tags:
Xbox Game Pass Coffee Stain Studios Goat Simulator
Lena Schmidt
Lena Schmidt

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