TV chef Si King has opened up about the challenging times he's faced since the loss of his Hairy Bikers co-star and friend of 30 years, Dave Myers, who passed away at the age of 66 in February. Myers had shared his cancer diagnosis in 2022 and was undergoing chemotherapy treatments.
In a heartfelt piece for The Sunday Times, King, 57, confessed: "I’ll be honest with you, the past few months have been a struggle. More than once I was on the verge of jumping on my bike and heading into the sunset.
“Not tell anyone where I was going. Just clear off and never come back. Other times I was raging. Raging at that bloody disease, at God and anything else I could think of. People were asking what I was going to do next.
“The answer is I am going to take some time to reflect on the life I had with my best mate, and think about moving forwards. Which is exactly what Dave would have wanted. Move forward, don’t dwell on the past.”
He told how he has been working on a new collection of classic Hairy Bikers recipes and hinted at upcoming projects, "there are a few new projects on the horizon". However, he remains content with simpler pleasures, "But even if I end up doing nothing more than making bacon sarnies and playing a few gigs with my band, that’s fine by me. Happy days! ", he remarked.
He continued: “I keep getting asked if the Hairy Bikers have left a legacy. Yeah, I’d like to think we made a little bit of difference, here and there.
“Just two regular blokes, having a go at beef rendang or apple pie. Hopefully we caught the attention of people who didn’t normally watch swanky cooking programmes on telly.”
He added: “Overweight, scruffy, working-class northerners don’t often get presented with an opportunity like the Hairy Bikers. It was a beautiful, magical thing and I’ll miss it. I’ll miss him. But there is a future for me, and I’m excited for what’s coming next.”
The Hairy Bikers Legacy
The pair first crossed paths in 1992 and their bond "was sealed over a tandoori chicken masala, four poppadoms and three pints of lager". They launched themselves into the public eye with The Hairy Bikers’ Cookbook in 2004 which was a mixture of cooking show and travel with the pair riding the length of Portugal in the first episode.
Coping with Grief
The death of a friend can be an incredibly difficult thing to cope with. Beatley advises those going through such grief to take things one day at a time.
There are some things you can do to support yourself through this challenging period. Again, there is no right way to grieve - what’s important is that you do what feels right for you, Beatley adds.
Opening up about your grief can help your family and friends support you in the way that you need. It can feel scary to be so honest, but communicating with them about what you need can ease some of the pressure you feel. Grief can be isolating, but remember that you shouldn’t have to go through it alone.
If you don’t feel comfortable going to a family member or friend, you could consider joining a grief support group. Sue Ryder offers more information about what grief support groups are and how to join one, either in person or online.
Taking time to reflect on special moments throughout your friendship can help you feel connected to your friend as you grieve. You could meet up with others who knew and loved them, or you could set up a digital space, such as our memory box tool, to share all your photos and memories.
You may want to think about a meaningful way for you to honour your friend’s memory. For example, you could make a memory box, plant a tree or flower, visit a place that was special to them, or support a cause they cared about.
If you feel like you have things you still want to say to your friend, or if you find yourself wishing that they were around at certain life events or moments, you might want to consider writing to them. This could be a quick text every now and then to let them know how you’re feeling, a journal entry, or it could be something longer like a letter that you write every year.
Grief can be exhausting, so it can feel even harder if you don’t look after your physical health. This can be hard to do when you’re grieving, but it’s important to try to eat well, get the sleep you need, and move your body each day. It may take a lot of effort to get out of the house, but going for a walk or sitting outside for a few minutes can help you feel better.
Remembering a Legacy
The five stages of grief are commonly known, as the model has been around since 1969. It was first developed by Swiss-American psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross as a roadmap of what people might expect to go through while grieving.
However, Dr Lynne Green, Chief Clinical Officer at digital mental health provider Kooth, says there are actually seven stages of grief. These include:
- Shock and Denial
- Pain and Guilt
- Anger and Bargaining
- Depression, Sadness, and Loneliness
- The Upward Turn
- Reconstruction and Working Through
- Acceptance and Hope
However, as King’s poignant writing reveals, the stages of grief aren’t linear. You may experience all the stages of grief, or only some, and feelings may surface when you least expect them to.
Catherine Betley, Bereavement Services Manager at Sue Ryder, emphasises that "there is no right way to grieve". "Ultimately, it’s important to remember that grief is an entirely individual experience, and how it affects you can be influenced by a huge number of factors.
"It’s not a process that follows a set timeline or a specific order, and it’s not something you can predict."
If you are grieving and need some extra support, you can visit www.sueryder.org/grief-support to get in touch with an online bereavement community, speak to a text-based ‘Grief Coach’, and access online counselling.
Read more about grief:
Residents offered bereavement support at town's first ever 'Grief Kind Space' (Swindon Advertiser, 2-min read)
I'm A Grief Expert, These Are 6 Actually Useful Things To Do To Help Somebody Who Is Grieving (HuffPost, 3-min read)
Grieving while someone’s still alive: How does anticipatory grief work? (Yahoo Life UK, 4-min read)
