I think of popcorn like Emily in Paris, R&B music that’s not fast enough to dance to and work friends you never see outside work: best enjoyed as a background to whatever else is going on, such as a movie, mindless scrolling or your actual work. My life experience of popcorn has always been a snack or side dish, never the main event. But surely, I thought, the best version of popcorn would be the main show – something so tasty it forces you to pay attention?
To find out whether that popcorn exists, I enlisted nine friends for a blind taste test. We tried 18 packaged, ready-to-eat, supermarket-available brands (we excluded microwavable, unpopped popcorn – it relies on a recipe, isn’t instantly snackable and is its own product category), including nine unsweetened and nine sweetened. We scored them based on aroma, texture and taste, aiming to find a separate winner for sweet and unsweetened versions.
It seems the popcorn industry feels the same way I do. This isn’t a main event food. The products on our supermarket shelves are a six-out-of-ten experience – so basic, easy and lacking in character or controversy, you can eat a lot of kernels without ever stopping to consider whether you’re enjoying the experience.
Unsweetened Popcorn: A Bland Battlefield
This is particularly the case with unsweetened popcorn which, unlike a lot of other supermarket products, are generally underseasoned and softly flavoured (I was surprised to find only one brand had MSG or an MSG-like flavour booster). The highest-ranked unsweetened popcorn scored just 6.5 and drew comments such as “entirely lacking personality”, “all looks, no substance” and “one-dimensional”. But at the same time, judges also described it as “moreish”, “bingeable” and a “cult classic”. They may as well have been talking about Emily in Paris or any other mid experience. Sometimes the only essential quality of a product is the fact it’s there in front of you.
Sweet Popcorn: A Sugar Rush of Flavor
The sweetened versions are far more courageous and varied (and generally a better textural experience), but some are so radical, they seem like different products entirely – ones that belong in the confectionery aisle. In short, if you’re buying unsweetened popcorn, you could buy any of these brands and be satisfied. If you’re buying sweet, choose wisely.
The Unsweetened Popcorn Winners
Carman’s Sea Salt and Cider Vinegar Gourmet Popcorn
Score: 7.5/10
There are two winners in this category because one of them – this one – had an unfair advantage. Our rule when buying unsweetened popcorn was to go for the baseline or original version for easy and fair comparison but Carman’s only has three flavours, black truffle and parmesan; sour cream and chives; and this. Eating this after many underseasoned, low-flavour popcorn brands was like being thrown into a wrestling match when your only previous experience of human touch is a light tickle. Like most things in the salt and vinegar flavour range, this is powerful and aggressively moreish. “Fun and daring, and it pays off but not for everyone,” one reviewer wrote. I’d say the same thing about wrestling.
Macro Wholefoods Market Lightly Sea Salted Air Popped Corn
Score: 6.5/10
It says so much about the popcorn market that the highest-ranked unsweetened popcorn scored just 6.5 and drew comments such as “entirely lacking personality”, “all looks, no substance” and “one-dimensional”. But at the same time, judges also described it as “moreish”, “bingeable” and a “cult classic”. They may as well have been talking about Emily in Paris or any other mid experience. Sometimes the only essential quality of a product is the fact it’s there in front of you.
The Sweet Popcorn Winners
Cobs Natural Popcorn Lightly Salted and Slightly Sweet
Score: 7.5/10
Almost every tasting round ended with me clearing away uneaten popcorn. This round, I had to refill the bowl. It smells softly and artificially like caramel, the inconsistent caramelisation and seasoning add textural variety and unexpected bursts of flavour, and it’s not sweet enough to warrant a confectionery aisle invitation (at 12.7g of sugar per 100g, it was one of the lowest-sugar sweet popcorns). As one reviewer wrote: “A really enjoyable, easy to consume popcorn. Something you’d comment on somewhat enthusiastically at a boring work party.” Cobs’ unsweetened flavour was fine at best.
Woolworths Sweet and Salty Popcorn
Score: 7.5/10
The scores and prices for the Woolworths and Coles home brands were so similar, any of the four home-brand products – the sweet and unsweetened versions of each – could have won the best value title. I’m not going to go into any detail about the taste experience because you already know it. Like many home brand products, they are the lowest risk, lowest common denominator version on the market. The only addendum is that the sweet versions aren’t just sweeter, but also crunchier due to the caramelisation.
Jonny’s Popcorn Delights Caramel
Score: 7.5/10
While annihilating a handful of these, a reviewer turned to me and said, “Are these a nine or a two?” After initially writing why I didn’t like them – they taste like LCM bars, a food I thought I’d aged out of – I noticed I too was hoovering them up. Others agreed: descriptions included “I should stop but I can’t”, “very addictive … I wouldn’t eat these publicly”. In a moment of prescience, another reviewer wrote: “Theme park candy vibes, I want more.” The packet claims that the US-inspired popcorn is made in “traditional carnival cookers”. I’m not sure what difference that would make, but they certainly got the vibe right.
Popcorn That Might Give You Superpowers (Or a Headache)
Lolly Gobble Bliss Bombs Nutty Caramel Popcorn
Score: 6.5/10
The Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups of the popcorn world – extremely salty, sweet and actually contains some peanuts. As it has a similar caramel crunch and big flavour, it’s in the Jonny’s school of popcorn but far more intense – and not in a good way. It had the highest sugar content of any brand we tried and the sodium levels were double most other brands. This divided the judges – those who liked it praised the texture, while the haters criticised the popcorn under all that nutty, caramel crunch for being stale.
Movietime Multi Colour Popcorn
Score: 5/10
There are few products I come across in taste tests that I would never eat again, and this is one. It smells like my memories of the Jelly Belly factory, and tastes, one reviewer said, “like petrified clown tears”. If you gave it to a kid, I imagine they’d develop yelling superpowers then fall into a coma an hour later. I am convinced the only reason this didn’t come last is a) nostalgia b) the fun of each popcorn colour having a different flavour and c) a rogue reviewer who gave it close to full marks, pulling up its overall average score.
Sprinters Popcorn Butter Flavoured
Score: 4.5/10
One of the recurring flavours of the day was fake butter, likely some kind of mysterious oil or powder that’s listed in the ingredients as “natural flavours”. While most brands are sprinkling it in, Sprinters is lathering it on. One reviewer said it smelt “like butter cultured in a jockstrap”. Another wrote: “If the Michelin man sweated butter, it would taste like this.” Others criticised it for being cheesy, mould-like and weirdly yellow. A lactose-intolerant reviewer said they felt ill just smelling it. The only reviewer to give a score above seven wrote: “Haters going to hate but if you like trash, fake cheese, this is for you.” The sweetened version of Sprinters tastes equally cheap but less weird.
Serious Popcorn Certified Organic Sea Salt
Score: 4.5/10
Confusingly, both Serious Popcorn’s sweet and unsweetened flavours bombed. Unlike the three popcorns ranked above this (Lolly Gobble, Sprinters and Serious Popcorn), there is nothing freaky going on – no wildly high sugar levels, notable aromas or unusual ingredients (mind you, coconut oil is an odd fat to use). This is just an extremely average product. The unsweetened version was described as weak, cardboard-y and “like packaging potatoes”. One reviewer wrote “eat this while watching The Bill”, while the sweet version was described as “stale” and a “cowardly attempt to be different”. One reviewer, who wrote a movie title to describe each brand, said this was the popcorn equivalent of Kevin Costner’s bomb Waterworld.
The Popcorn Verdict: It's Complicated
This taste test was a journey, one that started with optimism but ended with a sense of bemused resignation. The popcorn aisle, it seems, is a place of compromise. Even the best performers, like Carman's sea salt and cider vinegar popcorn, were more about boldness than consistent, fulfilling flavors. And the rest? Well, let's just say you might be better off making your own popcorn and adding your own toppings. But hey, at least there's a popcorn out there for every taste, even if it's a taste for, well, 'petrified clown tears'.
