Adopted at 10 days old, the story of how Coronation Street star Sue Cleaver met her birth mother is more incredible than any storyline on the cobbles.
In 1986, aged 23, Sue won a small part in the play Oedipus at Manchester’s Royal Exchange Theatre. But when her co-star Michael N Harbour saw her, he went white. He declared to the stage manager: “Oh my God, she’s the spitting image of my wife when I met her.”
Despite their age gap Sue and 41-year-old Michael became firm friends. Writing in her candid new memoir A Work in Progress, Sue says: “I was completely obsessed with him and fascinated by his stories about his family, I wasn’t sure why.”
One Sunday the cast got together for a lunch party and Michael started making fun of Sue’s Northern accent before asking where she was born and her date of birth. When she answered that she was actually born in Barnet, Greater London, not the North and that she was born on September 2, 1963, Michael immediately called his wife Lesley, announcing: ‘I’ve found her.’
It turned out that Sue’s birth mother Lesley Sizer Grieve had given her up for adoption when she was a 17 year-old single mum, five years before meeting Michael.
Sue (whose birth name was Claire Grieve) was adopted by a young couple Fred and John Cleaver and she went to live with them and their five year-old son Paul. Lesley and Michael meanwhile went on to have two teenage daughters who had no idea they had a half-sister. But Michael knew his wife had always wondered about her eldest child - the resemblance was so strong and the dates matched and he just knew he had found her.
Michael broke the news to Sue, telling her: ‘You are my wife’s daughter,’ and took her to meet Lesley in a hotel. Sue, best-known as Coronation Street’s feisty cab switchboard operator Eileen Grimshaw, says: “The walk to the door felt like it went on forever. I felt such a mixture of anticipation, excitement, fear and adrenaline. We embraced and just talked and talked until 5am.”
“It was almost like a love story. The first two weeks were very heady; we had to be around each other, we had to call each other. She never ever felt like my mum. My Mum who brought me up is [my] mum. But there was a definite attachment.”
Sadly, Lesley died at the start of the pandemic, but Sue adds: “I’ve got two lovely half-sisters. I’m close to them and I see Kate, the youngest one, quite a bit. My Mum and Dad were so welcoming; Lesley came to my father’s funeral. It’s very much like [we’re] part of a bigger family; it’s been lovely.”
Sue, now 61, joined Coronation Street almost 25 years ago. And in another incredible twist, her cobbles’ co-star Helen Worth (Gail Platt) was once flatmates with Lesley. “She knew that Lesley had this child [she’d given up],” Sue says. “And Helen is Godmother to one of my half-sisters!”
Sue, who is a panellist on the ITV lunchtime chat show Loose Women, says the discovery never affected her relationship with her parents or her brother Paul. The actress, whose memoir is out on Thursday, says: “I’ve only ever had one mum and she was so warm and generous. There was no jealousy; she welcomed Lesley with open arms and told her she could visit anytime.”
Finding Her Birth Mother Through a Coincidence
Coronation Street’s Sue Cleaver has an adoption story that outdoes any drama on the show. She was adopted at just 10 days old, but years later in 1986, one of her co-workers would make a comment that, in an absurd twist of fate, brought her face to face with her biological mother.
Despite the significant age difference, Sue, then 23, and Michael, who was 41, became good friends. In her new autobiography ‘A Work in Progress’, Corrie star Cleaver recalls her fascination with him. She said: “I was completely obsessed with him and fascinated by his stories about his family, I wasn’t sure why.”
READ MORE: Corrie star on teenage pregnancy, one-night stands and older men
A Twist of Fate and a Shared Past
Sue, originally named Claire Grieve at birth, was adopted by a young couple, Fred and John Cleaver, and grew up with their five year old son Paul. Lesley and Michael went on to have two daughters who were unaware of their half-sister’s existence.
However, Michael knew that his wife had always wondered about her eldest child - the resemblance was undeniable and the dates aligned perfectly, leading him to believe he had found her.
Michael revealed the truth to Sue, saying: ‘You are my wife’s daughter,’ and arranged for her to meet Lesley in a hotel. Sue, best known for her role as Eileen Grimshaw, the feisty cab switchboard operator in Coronation Street, recalls: “The walk to the door felt like it went on forever. I felt such a mixture of anticipation, excitement, fear and adrenaline. We embraced and just talked and talked until 5am.
“It was almost like a love story. The first two weeks were very heady; we had to be around each other, we had to call each other. She never ever felt like my mum. My Mum who brought me up is [my] mum. But there was a definite attachment.”
Sadly, Lesley passed away at the start of the pandemic, but Sue adds: “I’ve got two lovely half-sisters. I’m close to them and I see Kate, the youngest one, quite a bit. My Mum and Dad were so welcoming; Lesley came to my father’s funeral. It’s very much like [we’re] part of a bigger family; it’s been lovely.”
A Corrie Connection and Unbreakable Bonds
Sue Nicholls, aged 61 and a regular on Coronation Street for almost a quarter of a century, has revealed an astonishing connection with her fellow cobbles’ actress Helen Worth (Gail Platt), who once shared a flat with Lesley. Recalling their past, Sue said: “She knew that Lesley had this child [she’d given up],” adding that, “And Helen is Godmother to one of my half-sisters! ”.
As a panellist on ITV’s Loose Women, Sue shares that the revelation of having a sister did not impact her bond with her parents or her brother Paul. Ahead of her memoir release this Thursday, the actress said: “I’ve only ever had one mum and she was so warm and generous. There was no jealousy; she welcomed Lesley with open arms and told her she could visit anytime.”
Finding Her Roots and Embracing Resilience
Sue Cleaver is one of those women who appear to have it all worked out. Best known for her role as Eileen Grimshaw in Coronation Street (a part she has played for almost 25 years), at 61 she’s glamorous and quick-witted, with a huge appetite for life, as confirmed two years ago by her appearing on I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! ‘Now it’s my time to have adventures,’ she says. ‘Fear is not a good enough excuse.’
Yet as a young woman Cleaver was profoundly unhappy. ‘We didn’t have the vocabulary to describe how I felt but I would say I was depressed. My life felt desperate.’
At ten days old, Cleaver was given up for adoption by her 17-year-old single mother. She was in a ‘handover’ home for a short spell before a young couple called Freda and John Cleaver, together with their five-year-old son Paul, took her home.
Sue, above, with, from left, her birth mother Lesley, her grandmother Doreen and her half-sisters Emma and Kate, 2013
Despite then being brought up by ‘very loving’ parents, she always felt an outsider, partly because her mother had advised her not to tell other children she was adopted. ‘Mum did it to protect me, as she knew other kids could be horrible, but it left me with feelings of shame,’ she says. ‘I do think most adopted people carry a sense of otherness, of something missing, and perhaps you carry that sense of being unwanted.’ It was all exacerbated by the fact that her parents (both boarding-school teachers) moved from school to school. For five years she lived in the grounds of Gordonstoun, where Prince Andrew was a pupil and where her dog once bit the visiting Queen’s chauffeur: ‘The Queen wound her window down and said, “Did he just bite him?” She seemed to find it funny.’
Overcoming Challenges and Finding Her Voice
Cleaver became increasingly troubled, losing her virginity aged 14 and becoming promiscuous. Leaving school aged 16 without qualifications, she fell in and out of jobs before getting pregnant by a 35 year old and having a termination. She went to Canada to work as a nanny six weeks later, aged 17, hating the job but experiencing an epiphany after seeing a friend’s amateur play. ‘I thought, “This is shockingly bad. I could do this better. That’s what I’ll do – go home and go to drama school.” Mum thought it was just another madcap idea, but I did it.’
While in Canada, Cleaver also visited a psychic. ‘I don’t even believe in any of that, but she said, “You’ll find your birth mother and you won’t even have to look for her.” I still have the tape recording.’
She thought little more of the encounter, came home and won a place at the Manchester Metropolitan School of Theatre. In her second year, aged 23, she got a tiny part in the play Oedipus at Manchester’s Royal Exchange. ‘I couldn’t have known but that would rock my entire world,’ she says.
During rehearsals she became friendly with Michael N Harbour, an actor who was 41. ‘I had no idea Michael was saying to the stage manager, “My god, Sue’s the absolute double of my wife when I met her, aged 18.” Once, at a party, he started taking the mickey out of my [northern] accent. I said, “Actually, I’ve cultivated this – I’m not from round here.” He asked where I was born.
I said, “Barnet [North London].” He started staring at my hands. I thought, “This is weird.”
‘Then he asked me what my date of birth was. I told him and carried on talking to someone else. Unbeknownst to me he’d gone to a phone box. He rang his wife and said, “I’ve found her.”’ By sheer chance, Cleaver, who relates all of this in her new memoir A Work in Progress, had befriended the husband of her birth mother, Lesley Sizer Grieve, an actress. Five years after giving Cleaver up, Grieve married Harbour and had two daughters, Kate and Emma, with him.
A New Chapter and Embracing Family
When Harbour told Grieve of his discovery, she was shaken and told him to let things be, as Cleaver might not have even known she was adopted. A couple of nights later, Cleaver, Harbour and another cast member, Leonard, went for dinner. Cleaver started telling Leonard about being adopted, adding she’d never wanted to find her birth mother.
‘It felt disloyal to my parents and I never wanted to hurt them. Plus, I’d heard stories of people who’d traced their parents and their mother was a prostitute or they’d been turned away on the doorstep.’ Harbour became so agitated that Cleaver joked to Leonard: ‘Maybe he’s my dad.’ At the end of the meal, Harbour told her they had to talk. ‘He drove me to my flat and told me I’d been born Claire and he was married to my [birth] mother. I was so shocked, so confused, just full of adrenaline, not knowing what to do.’
Soon after, Cleaver arranged to meet her birth mother, Grieve, at a hotel. ‘Michael came up in the lift with me and said, “Right, you’re on your own now.” I walked terrified down the corridor. It was like the scene in the film Poltergeist where the more I walked, the further away the door seemed to be. Lesley opened the door and we hugged, without saying a word. That night is a blur, but I saw her again the next day.’
For a while, she says, ‘It was weird between us. Neither of us knew quite how to deal with it – it was like falling in love. We wanted to be on the phone to each other all the time. Everyone else was like, “Isn’t this amazing?” But at a certain point it became too much.’ Cleaver felt shaken at her life taking this sudden new path, and for Grieve the reunion – while happy – revived painful memories. In the summer that year, Cleaver went on holiday to Cornwall with Grieve and her family, but invented an excuse to leave early. Again it was that otherness – she felt so different to her birth family.
A Rollercoaster of Emotions and Finding Balance
For about six months Grieve and Cleaver didn’t see each other. ‘We both needed space. It had been such a whirlwind. We were such an amazing story that Michael would regale friends about it at dinner parties. To us it was like, “Hang on, there are two human beings in this!” But then we drifted back on our own terms and from then we had a wonderful relationship.’
A Life Transformed and Embracing the Journey
Cleaver stayed close to Grieve until she died aged 74, in 2020. She’s also good friends with her half-sisters, who are both actresses. But the discovery hasn’t lessened her relationship with her parents or her brother Paul. ‘Lesley never felt like my mum – I’ve only ever had one mum [Freda] and she was so warm and generous. There was no jealousy; she welcomed Lesley with open arms and told her she could visit any time. She took all my baby pictures out of the album to send to her. When Lesley and Michael visited my parents at home, they set up a slideshow of me as a baby – it was probably too much for Lesley!’
Still, Cleaver enjoyed deducing which parts of her came from which of her ‘families’. ‘The theatrics are definitely down to my birth family and my emotional side,’ she tells me. ‘But my “nurture” side is practical and I’m down-to-earth like my parents.’
In May 2000, Cleaver won the part of Eileen Grimshaw in Coronation Street, watched by 12 million people an episode at its peak. She enjoyed that rare thing: a regular acting job, which meant that her son Elliott, now 28, with her ex-husband, actor James Quinn, grew up in the same Manchester home, with none of the childhood moves she’d experienced.
But finding her birth mother wasn’t the magic cure for Cleaver’s angst, and she continued to be plagued by self-doubt. She found fame challenging and hated being recognised in public. ‘Once I was walking with elephants in [Botswana’s] Okavango Delta and a ranger raised his gun and called, “Hello, Eileen.’’ I handled that kind of thing badly. The thought of people wanting to get to know me as Sue freaked me out because I always felt lacking.’
She became so fascinated by human psychology that in 2015, she qualified as a psychotherapist, fitting the training around her acting job. It was for her own satisfaction, she’s never practised.
Yet today Cleaver has a more confident view on life. She has remarried (Corrie lighting technician Brian Owen), while Elliott has left home to work designing 3D images for video games. Now she wants to share her experiences with other women. ‘I’ve learnt to listen to my inner wisdom,’ she says. ‘For so long I thought I was broken and weak. Writing the book made me see how resilient I am.’
A Work in Progress by Sue Cleaver will be published by Bloomsbury this Thursday, £20. To pre-order a copy for £17 until 6 October, go to mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937. Free UK delivery on orders over £25
Published by Associated Newspapers Ltd
Part of the Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday & Metro Media Group
